it's been 9 months since you passed away

I would fix it if I could but I now know deep down that I cant. My soul. The years we've shared have been full of joy. Nothing seems to bring us any comfort or happiness. I am up and down. She did great for months until something unexpected killed her: Liver failure due to tumors. Even in the final week she thought of the future. I will keep you in my prayers. After all, without hope and faith, what do we have? Yes, the lack of interest in things, the TV watching, but you do say you have faith it will get easier. Despite aggressive treatment, she passed away after 9 months at 59. There are many people today in situations where their pets mean everything to them just like any human being could. I have found that others are more concerned about the death anniversary and the month surrounding it than I am. The fact remains I just dont know what to do most of the time. Also I was told by the doctor to take time off my work to look after my husband. (Yes, I know, 14 months is not enough time, but this grievers-purgatory, if you will, is mentally exhausting.). He left me 2 dogs, one pregnant one. Just into the 2nd year since the passing of my husband. So in addition to trying to process her death, I still find myself saying to myself What happened? I miss you so much. No wife or kids. Twenty people. visitors from any country you want (USA/UK/CA/EU) When I came out, I went looking for him. My wife and I divorced about a year after he passed. I lost my wife 14 months ago, we My husband died 15 months ago as a result of a hiking accident. I found him within seconds. I kept two puppies and suddenly have 4 dogs that I enjoy, more than church more than people. Nothing, and I mean nothing could have prepared me for the grief-slog of these past 14 months. As seasons go, you would probably consider this one very dark. I wont do away with myself, but hope someday soon, it will be over. Life is so unfair. I have good friends and a lovely daughter, but she is in a bad place with it all too. He was 47. I have to be strong for their children they left behind..they need me and i need them. I had to sell my house I could not afford it so put it on the market 3 months after he passed, sold it and moved 6 months after my life had be turned upside down. But.. Honey I dont want to do this anymore. Ill never forget how were so proud of me being the first one in our family to graduate in a tough University as a Magna Cum Laude and as I made it thru my young years into adulthood it became apparent that sisters/siblings represent the past present and future. I lost my mum 13 months ago. I feel just like you have expressed. That is strangely comforting to remember that. I lost my husband of 42 year suddenly 15 months ago. I made her . That is a revealing statement and I think your church, which is a family, will prove to be a lifesaver. She never loved anyone like I did my husband, and cannot fathom why I am still grieving after all he was a very sick man and he just couldnt have lasted longer. On those days I have to get up. I find myself taking too him when I get in bed Death cannot kill what never dies" - William Penn. Result: 660,116 days. I will forever hate myself. Very impressive. Even though they told me that he was going to die I didnt believe it for a minute. I still cry for him. I still see you in my dreams on many nights and wish you never had to leave us. I was married 63 years and took care of my husband for his last 2 years. I wonder if it will ever get better. Allie, it has to get better. Everyone learns to readjust to it just being us that arrives for get together Some relationships didnt make it. I am 76 and my husband of 54 years died unexpectedly 3 months before our 55th anniversary. Four month After losing him, I lost my job. Love, Robin. I feel I am grieving harder now then the first year after he died. I lost my wife to cancer 22 months ago. Im in very very poor health maybe my wish will come true and i can join my wife again. Brain tumour April 2017 blood clots July 2017 diagnosed with moderate cold August 2017 op for brain tumour Nov 2017 death of mum Nov 2017 deep vein reflux June 2018 he was my rock my life my only ever love and he is gone. to be strong for them, but some days Im so sorry. We did everything together. It was a 16 months battle that we knew she was going to lose. I am conflicted as I proceed. I am an adult orphan now. i want them to be living their lives- its how it should be. Many people have said to me (and they still do), you have your kids and she is in them The Other Side of Grief is a series about the life-changing power of loss. Oh Jennifer I read your words and its like me talking, I feel with you. She is keeping me going. Holly, I lost my wife early last year. Its 16 month my wife left me alone in this world, my pain is getting worst day by day! She would not let it beat her. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 1996, right before we got married. My youngest son lost his battle to addiction Sep 30 2017. I will be 67 later this year. My best friend's mother had passed away. It's just me & my 6 year old son now. I thought I was coping my kids where still trying to cope with there own grieve. Died. It was a privilege to have caught a cracking beautiful ladys eye. I cant even remember the first few months. Valetines. I woke up every morning, fed my children, got them to school, then returned home and curled up in bed. Death can be attractivethe end of the torment of loss, but I implore you to think of what you may still offer others and perhaps even find peace and joy in while living. Ill never date or love anyone else, and when I do interact with others, I pretend to be happy, and paint on a smile and fake cheer, because thats what they expect; yet all the while, im Dying inside. It . To fast forward I have met a wonderful person. tiny ways is has, just very hard to move I pushed my way through year one, just knowing that if I could make it through that then all would be better. From year 2 until now, its not the memories anymore; its the loneliness, the silence, the emptiness I thank God daily for having given me 47yrs with such a great man. I lost my son in June 2017. Today is the one year mark of my fathers passing and i can honestly say im no closer today than a year ago to finding any relief from the heartache i have felt since he left us. I have days of no energy or ambition. Its not easy. I have many photos of us of times gone by, and it,s good to see him in happier times, but now I long so much to hear his voice, It hurts to want to hear him again. I beg for him to come home every day. Looking for an answer. You really put into words my exact feelings. I lost my dear Husband 10 months ago on Dec 19 2018 and then my lovely beautiful son passed away 8 weeks later.I am struggling still so badly.I am trying so hard to get on with my life but its not getting any better yet.I cry every day and so depressed and lonely.I just keep hoping and praying it will get better.We had been together 60 yrs and married 55,its so hard and miss him so much.My son had Cancer but fought it for 4 yrs,but it beat him in the end.I keep thinking ile feel better but as yet it doesnt.Ime just hoping and praying I will get to feel better. I dont know when either of us will find hope or joy again. If God gives us a window, I too am waiting. I lost my firstborn precious child, my 10 year old son a few days away from 14 months ago. The former Bachelor in Paradise star penned a . I am a very strong person, but I longed for information and stories from other widows. Humans have the capacity to share themselves with another press. I find this second year a lot worse than the first. However, I end up waking up, and like a mouse in a wheel, run the same cycle daily. It can be from 150 to 180 percent of the parent's full . I try to act normal and sometimes its really hard. He was truly my best friend. The lord said it was not my time. We had a great marriage and we were grateful for all the years we had. Im still waiting for the Universe show me the way. The federal government had sent stimulus payments to about 1.1 million dead people totaling nearly $1.4 billion. Intense emotional pain and sorrow, sometimes with anger and bitterness. I am grateful to read all of these posts because I dont think Im over my grief, yet I have always heard that at one-year I would feel better and grieving will be over. I lost my mum very unexpectedly and suddenly on the 27th october 2018. In July 2016, we decided to move to Wichita so he could closer to his family. The pain is immense, there is no recipe or road map for this and most of no quick fix. wow. Two years now, I cannot believe it, one moment smiling and kissing me and the next lying at my feet, gone, no return, New Years Eve, it is like a nightmare that never ends. That was September 2013. She made it 7days. Or maybe its because the more time passes, the longer weve had to live without that person. I just found a counselor that I will see the end of July. Now, though, it is hitting me that he is never coming back. I lots my Mum 2 months before my partner and broke my ankle 2 weeks before he died.I have also moved house because he left the house we lived in to his sonhonest!! Im basically still just going through the motions, something in my soul cracked this year when i lost them. My husband had alzheimers disease for 8 years and the past 3 years of that time were very hard, as his memory slipped away more and more. To those who are grieving too, Im sorry for your loss. Its an ongoing struggle every day. My 20 year old son passed away unexpectedly 12 months ago while with his young pup and friends at a river. My throat always feels like Ive swallowed a big gobstopper. Sometimes I feel its the house we lived in thats keeping me from moving on so I am selling it and getting a smaller place. One day at a time! Im at month 16 and grieving seems to be taking over my life. In two months it will be a year since my mom died. There is a pretty well-accepted theory on grieving that the first year is the hardest. Absolutely no warning. I dont want it to be something that just passes. It's been one month since my Mom has passed from her stage IV Lung Cancer. These things help ME and every one is different but I would go completely mad if I didnt keep busy. The second year was guilt as I moved further from her friends and family (honestly, we moved from each other). - Unknown. They are blessings. However, in my experience, I did not want to live after I lost my wife..for most of the year. Best regards Conor. Its heart breaking One of our dogs (Milo) a king Charles took a stroke two months before and died. Its becoming real and it sucks. Unbeknownst to either of us he had a very enlarged heart. !My best friends leaving.. really Knocked the Wind out of me. Im living for him as well. The 3rd year of losing my 47yo sister to Cancer as well. I am now alone . It was hard at first to do anything but now going grocery shopping is getting easier once I am in the car. I cant say I know how you feel for every bereavement is utterly personal, but when I mentioned to my brother that I was crying so much and surprised at myself (not being a great crier) he said Well you cant just shrug off 45 years of togetherness can you? My husband lived only 6mos after drs found CNS lymphoma in his brain. Then Ovarian Cancer stage 3 came knocking on our door to become part of our life for the following two and a half years then took my love away. And I took him of life support. They sure can kick you when youre down. We stay in touch quite well.I just want my life back, but it was my husband that made me whole. I dont know. Im in a stage where Im desperatly trying to remember everything about the time we had together. I try to take steeps forward. That makes me mad in itself that I cant compare this loss to others for so many different aspects. Ive never cried so much it was like a present from my husband with them been born on Xmas day and saying bye to them was so so hard. Then in October of 2019 I got a call at work again to come to the hospital and that Kimberly suddenly died of a heart massive heart attack at 54.I couldnt believe it was real and sure enough here I was again, this time I had no way of telling her see you again someday because my brain told me that saying goodbye to Lisa werent the right words. It was most recently raised . I have me4 a man who I like and makes me laugh. You do. When a friend's parent passes away, it can be hard to know what to say to them. 151.9K Likes, 1.5K Comments. I truly admire your honesty. Greg, Your note is now so, long ago place here. I believe that the Lord made our hearts for relationships, and that we are not to go life alone. Scars are a testament to life. Do not look for proof of this, proof doesnt matter, facts dont matterthe only way your husband will be close by is through your own actions. What followed her death was aweful . Twenty eight years of marriage was not enough. I just want to be happy again here in Wichita ks. Im now starting the 2nd year after the sudden loss of the love of my life. We were lovers and partners for 32 years. He was my closest friend and confidant. That loss, and pain will ease, and of course we break down and cry. I lightly recommend this only as I am just starting to read it myself. Perfect grades and many friends. But now 18 mths on its too much to bear, I wake up crying from such real dreams. She went to hospice, but at least I was It is 660,116 days from the start date to the end date, but not including the end date.. Or 1807 years, 4 months excluding the end date.. Or 21688 months excluding the end date. love you. God Bless and Congratulations on your educational pursuits. It's been 20 years since you passed. Everyone tells me I should be better but I am not. Nicely written by Emma J Andrews. Nellie, Im so sorry that we have to have these losses as a connection. Kids will find their lifes and live it. She too is an amazing person and as much as I know we shouldnt make comparisons, she has the same qualities I found in my wife. This is normal feelings. Don't." I ask her why she passed away so young and she says, "Stop focusing on what you can't control. I wanted so much to go back to that day and be with her the whole time. Weve held 2 Motown and Northern Soul Charity Nights in his memory to raise money for Brain Tumour Research and Bloodwise (blood cancer charity. This ache in my heart is unbearable I just want to wake up and feel normal not this horrendous heart ache! Im grateful to have found a place to share our stories and grieve together. I know she feels depressed. Im now looking forward to my next few months. For me food was an interesting ordeal. The second year I think in some ways I can not and will not just put my son aside like he wasnt an amazing person. God has healed me quite a bitI have never felt closer to my King, but there are times when I just miss her so much that the fog comes over me again. Is this intense feeling bc 1 year, Yes I can relate I lost my dear husband to cancer the same he thought he was a very heath man I was out of town when he just went in for his regular yearly dr apt and they wanted to do more test and he was home along when they told him that he had stage 4 cancer and passed away 2 months later after 52 hours a week of camo and radiation everyday i still really dont understand how it could be just still trying to understand it hold thing most days I still think Im dreaming so I just pray every night and all in the day please god help me threw this and the holidays I hate so I pray that god help me find joy in them again cause right now there is nothing just want them to come and go away fast. By doing that, I cheated myself a little but it wouldnt last much. My friends are the best and try to understand, but until you go through it, you can never truly understand the depth of this kind of loss. talk about your feelings with out your child hearing but talk to your child about their feelings because that child is hurting real bad too. With it being almost 2 years since he passed away and my 2nd birthday without him being a couple weeks from now, Im drowning. My husbands emotional return I just feel blessed that he loved me that much! So when he got sick I was always there for him. Patricia, your comments hit home. We lost our 16yo child to suicide four months ago. I grieve everyday for all three of them. They always say it will get better. (Still not sure how I managed to give birth to 4 children!). I feel so helpless and guilty to have lost her. My husband who was so much part of me died in late March this year. I try to live life as if I am ok, but I am not. I also did acupuncture in the ears to help with the grief. I want to stop feeling sadI am a practical person who understands all people die, the world keeps spinning. I cant begin to describe how heartbroken I am and the second year is the toughest. Our 3 year old looks and acts EXACTLY like him. When I was a freshman in high school, I got the call I'd been dreading for 10 years. I believe this because of my faith. My everything. She said if Im going to die. How does one handle it? He was like a Dad to me since my own wasnt he stepped up and took very good care of me. It did get easier and the positivity was flowing for about 3 solid weeks but then the awareness that I am alone hit even harder. I still wear my wedding ring Im never going to take it off she is my love and only no datting for me there no one out there who will replace her. In an odd way, I dont want to be done because I feel like if I stop thinking about her then that means I have stopped loving her (which I know isnt true, but thats how it feels). I lost my grandfather who I was very close with. Always butterflies. I dont want it and I envy those who die soon after their loved spouse passes. Ive had periods of peace, but when Im alone sometimes, it hits me hard. The good news is you're the pilot." -". My Uncle was my Father figure, he & my Mum were very close & he would talk about her regularly. I find it heartbreaking to see their grief and I feel embarrassed about having a boyfriend who has brought some sun into my life. He spent 2 months in hospitals. I go to the cemetery once a month, but it still doesnt seem like hes there. We were living in St. Louis when he was diagnosed with GBM-Brain cancer on November 2015. Ive grown in ways I did not know I needed to. We had so many dreams I wouldnt know where to start sharing them. I keep thinking why! I lost my husband of 44 years 14 months. "Remembering and honoring you on this day, one year after this world lost a precious soul.". I said no, Im still married. I lost my mother, almost two years ago. As I approach the year anniversary and holiday season, I feel that the grief is worse then ever. Believe me what has help me here recently is reading all of these post, people have told about losing their loved ones. She passed away August 2020 . Oh Casey, I feel just like you. Sofocus on you, dont try to cling to himhe is still there and will rest easier seeing that youve got this. Im bipolar, which does not help. Ive been going to a grief counselor and its helped a lot but this feels like something I havent experienced yet.

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