funny response to are you still alive

His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. Because your ass is out of this world! I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Because Jamaican me crazy! So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. At minding my own business? Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Being single is much better than being married. "Yeah, you're three years late. Get your own life first before you try sharing it. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." When they play it cool, play it ice cold. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . I repeat I am plural! *sips wine/tea*. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Your hair looks great! On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . As for me, I cant even afford honey! 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. But half the time, it is a nightmare. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . Youre free to go. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. Here's another way to respond to your crush. Happy, and I know it. Your secrets are always safe with me. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. 45. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. 26. What to say when your crush asks how you are? If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. Siri, why am I still single? Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. 7. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. (Explained). Through humorous musings about Scalia's . 3. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. Required fields are marked *. 14. 32. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." 12. Youll go far someday. Why do you ask? Impressive! If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Just look what happened there! 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. 1. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. "I'm alright, mate". Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? This is a good response to throw out there. Dont get caught with nothing to say. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! It lets him know that you love spending time together. I always root for the little guy. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. I agree, thanks for sharing. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. At minding my own business? My lawyer told me not to answer that question. 4. 28. This one is funny when you havent said anything. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. So, you changed your mind? If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. What do you mean Im still single. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. (bonus points to you if you sing it). Sort of. 2. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Just Smile And Nod It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! He sold it to me on his deathbed. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. Don't Push It Too Far. 1. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Could have been worse, right. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Because Im awkward and ugly. 35. That's boyfriend material. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. 38. 4. Holy s**t, you can see me?! Checklists & Reminders! Use the opportunity to make a good impression. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Youre totally on the same page. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. . And it's time for me to make my escape. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? The answer is simple. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. Totally fine! "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." Nice outfit. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. 10. You should really come with a warning label. Hope you're well". WHY!? 76. What do you say when people ask you that? Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. My only talent is not being in a relationship. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. I suggest you do a little soul searching. You have an old soul. Stop asking me why Im single! Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. via: Pexels / George Pak. 2. You want to make them laugh, not yell. I dont feel that great, but look! 13. 12. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. In fact, they're taking too much of it. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? Maybe you can Google it. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are Could Be Payday. The police? 71. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? You dont need to say it. Pick your struggle. 8. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Financially? Cookie Notice 13. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. I cant really complain, but I will still try. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Finnish with this conversation! When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. Opposites attract, right? However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". It could always have been worse. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. Living an amazing dream. Congratulations, sir. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. My bad, its just your mouth. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. I favour the "How am I what?" But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. Now that is pretty f****** funny. How did you get here? Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. *wink*. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! 37. Socioeconomically? 7. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. Life is up to something. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Then you die. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. Did someone leave your cage open? I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. How do you usually respond to the question? Alexa's response: No, that's not true. 56. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. 11. 18. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Your hair looks great! Read more about Martin here. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. 17. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. 10. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. 14. However, I dont recall anything about morons. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . 18. Stupidity isnt a crime. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. I really thought you already knew. Call the police." 13 Quora User 3. Are you serious? Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. You speak as if youre not single yourself! Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Im jealous of people who dont know you. 40. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Mentally? But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? Someone took their costume way too seriously. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. I was actually talking to my friend". The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. Unlikely, but worth a shot. But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. Im too expensive. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. 69. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". can be tackled in some really interesting ways. I think I am doing alright. original sound - Tyren Sams. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Everyone has a different sense of humor. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! 64. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. How are you? - Anonymous. 6. I hope you are at your best too. Stop joking! Alive Jokes. . Some people spend all their time on their phone. 82. 93. My grandfather had a ton of these.

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